Thursday, August 10, 2006 | Plan B NOTE: The exciting astrology details relating to the "foiled terrorist plot" involving blowing up jet liners with fizzy drinks will be in tonight's Astrology Secrets Revealed, which shall blossom into tomorrow's Planet Waves Weekly. I'M GOING to forget that I've just read that about two-thirds of Americans allegedly support Israel bombing Lebanon. Talk is so cheap. I'm going to pretend I didn't read that the new  federal budget cuts funding for brain trauma research -- the 'signature' injury of the Iraq war. Instead, I'm going to do a quick review of The Onion's latest stuff, go to bed, get up, and [start to] finish my writing for the week. The Onion has been brilliant lately. Their new daily format is great -- it updates continuously now, not just once a week. They have always been astonishing in my opinion (I discovered them when they were still just a cute little rag that you could only find in Wisconsin), and if I were a J-school professor, I would have my class take apart their articles once a week. This one gave me a good laugh tonight; objections to the Plan B contraceptive: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51370 Next, I was going to post this next one about Condi last night, but it was too damned funny. I figured if you're suggesting people pray to YHVH to tell his beloved Israelites to stop killing Lebanese kids, getting them laughing hysterically is not really a good idea...I did not think so, anyway...this is what you have to mull over when you're communicating with the public, even if you're too tired to make tea. Stuff like, "Is that cover photo really appropriate, given how many people were bombed with our tax dollars today?" Note, my saying this will prevent someone from subscribing. Please sign up for yourself and your brother on behalf of the person who did not want to be reminded that our federal tax dollars go mostly for bombs. Soooo, here is Condi Rice doing pretend diplomacy in her luxury bathtub. Very detailed article, someone with a college degree or two obviously wrote it. Thing is, apparently Rice is PISSED at her boyfriend George because she wants him to tell the Israelites to chill out bombing bridges and relief convoys -- but he is muzzling her. The Bombs Must Go On. But, she still deserves this brilliant review: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51366 Okay, now, today is August 10 and I missed the 5th anniversary of the August 6, 2001 PDB (that irrelevant CIA memo telling Bush that Osama bin Laden was going to attack the USA, which purportedly happened a month later) but The Onion was on it: the single plane theory. That is, one airplane did all four attacks on Sept. 11. This is a parody of the official JFK theory, the Magic Bullet. Caption says: "There's no way anyone can ever deny there was only one plane." http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51367 Oh, I just learned that Oliver Stone has a new movie coming out. Here is today's. I am laughing so hard...I need oxygen... http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51526