Friday, Aug. 12, 2005 http://planetwavesweekly.com/iimnc476/cainer/PW050812.html I'm going to post Friday's horoscope a little early. There's a daily from the Cainer series and also a weekly that will go out to subscribers. I have not dared to compare the two so I have no clue how that will work out. I'll leave that project to astrology students and trust that I'm not sending anyone scurrying in three psychological directions. The photo on Friday's horoscope was a surprise when I saw it in my iPhoto display. A lot of the time I'm not looking so carefully at what I'm photographing, or I will miss language details while I'm busy taking in the light and the geometry. But the words I discovered in this one sum up my philosophy of safer sex quite nicely. I've long been calling AIDS the Acquired Intimacy Dysfunction Syndrome. Some of the most shocking statistics I've seen are those which describe whether people will reveal their health status before engaging in unprotected sex. Too many don't. That's what tipped me off, in a time when I was researching the subject daily back in the early 90s, that there was a bigger problem on the loose than a virus. I've had a lot to say about sex over the years, and I've put plenty of it in writing. But long ago I gave up harping on a "safe sex, use condoms" message, reaching for another layer of the same onion. To make sex safer, both emotionally and physically, I propose that we work through the jealousy (and fear of jealousy in our partners) that prevents us from being honest about our sexual experiences, feelings and needs. I'm not saying that we not experience jealousy or try to pretend it does not exist. To the contrary, I think we need to go straight for the heart of the matter, and address jealousy as the fundamentally spiritual issue that it is, involving the fear of death and the death of relationships. I understand this is daring territory. That's the nature of intimacy. But the most intimidating thing is silence, and fear is a close second. If we move through one maybe we can move through the other. Then maybe we can experience erotic exchange as the truly mystical and equally earthy experience that it is. Yes, I believe that sex is one of the true paths to God/dess, and to experiencing our mortal life in a full and free way. And that path begins with self-understanding and consciously allowing others to be who they are, and feel what they feel, with a commitment to granting full amnesty for those feelings. Here's an article, a long-time favorite of Planet Waves readers, that you may not have seen. It's by a guy named William Pennell Rock, whose contribution to my life I appreciated so much I had to track him down in the Bay area and managed to get myself invited to lunch in his backyard. Intense dude, very grounded and real. http://www.planetwaves.net/jealousy.html Here's my Sex Archive at the beautiful http://Sexuality.org site in sleepy Seattle. http://www.sexuality.org/l/ericfrancis/ Yeah, take care of the people you love. Love yourself. Tell the truth. And while you're at it, as Steely Dan said, don't ever do it without your fez on. Peace & Passion, -- Eric Francis